Fear

Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood.  

~Marie Curie

A few days ago I was up before the sun came up and I went outside to meditate in the cooler morning air. It's a treat to do this when the weather permits and I was particularly grateful on this morning to be surrounded by fresh air and nature while connecting to what one of my teachers calls “big mind” (a state of consciousness that leads to serenity, clarity and bliss).  It’s a heavenly feeling to sit tall, close your eyes and sink into stillness, feeling the presence of God around and within you. 

As I sat and allowed my wavering thoughts to settle, I started to notice with great clarity the sounds going on around me, starting with the sounds furthest away: the soft drone of cars on the interstate, a distant train whistle, a siren in the a few miles away, a car starting a few streets over, cicadas, frogs and crickets singing their early morning choruses, the neighbor opening her front door to let her dog out. The longer I sat, the more aware I became of sounds closer to me: something (perhaps a squirrel) moving around in the grass to my right, the neighbors dog lifting a leg to pee on the herb garden next to me, the growling of my hungry belly, but something else also caught my ear.  It was much closer to me, perhaps just a foot or so away that I couldn't quite identify... a light scratching sound.  What was it?  

Scratch, scratch, scratch...

Of course being out in nature means, well, being out in nature... replete with all things natural, like... bugs.

I'm not a big fan of bugs.  I don't know who among us really is a fan of bugs unless, of course, you are an entomologist or an exterminator. So as I listened to this “scratch, scratch, scratch”  my mind automatically conjured up the image of a huge, hideous palmetto bug (i.e. a GINORMOUS roach) making its way toward me.  My thoughts took a turn, “What if there's more than one?!”,  “What if it climbs up the leg of the chair!?”,  “What if it crawls on me!?”, “What if, what if, what if”!!!!!?????”. For a moment I became paralyzed with fear. Fear holds us still, stifles our progress, and distorts our view of reality. 

Yoga/meditation offers us a doorway to self-realization by honing our awareness. This newfound awareness grants us the opportunity to help focus our mind.  With a focused mind we can separate fact from fiction - much easier than a confused mind. As practices, yoga and meditation offer us many tools for stilling the mind. The first of these is Pranayama (Yogic breath techniques). Breath is the primary link between mind and body. One of the first things we learn as students is how to use the breath to focus the mind. 

So, back to the RABID palmetto bug, once I came back to my breath and the rootedness of my body on this particular morning, I was able to let go of all the “what ifs” and find greater stillness.  I am happy to report that when I opened my eyes there were no swarming masses of snarling Palmetto bugs waiting to devour me as my mind had come to believe.  Just an empy patio, quiet in the early morning light.  The “scratch, scratch, scratch” I heard that invoked such fear in the first place?  Just a hungry caterpillar munching on a leaf next to where I was sitting...

On the mat, one emotion we often run into is fear.  We might hold back for fear of falling out of a pose.  We might have fear of appearing weak or foolish - or worse -hurting ourselves!  Next time you find yourself falling out of a pose, notice how you react to falling. Yoga teaches us that we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we choose to react.

Until next time...

"Fear is illusory; it cannot live...Courage is eternal, it will not die. Perils, calamities, dangers are the certain lot of every man who is a denizen of this world. Therefore, O Man! Fortify your mind with courage and patience. Fortitude, courage, presence of mind will sustain you through all dangers. Just as a rock on the sea-shore stands firm and the dashing of the waves does not affect it even a bit, even so a man who is endowed with courage is not affected by the dark perilous waves of this Samsara. He stands adamant in all trying conditions and circumstances and comes out victorious."

By Sri Swami Sivananda

Fire!

For thousands of years, yoga has been a tool to open the mind and body, bringing about great transformation. At its very core, yoga is a process that involves confronting your limits and mindfully going beyond them. It's a practice that leads to greater self-understanding and inner peace, which then becomes a peace that you share with the world. Ok, so I can hear you ask, "That's all well and good, but HOW does it do all that?". Here's my take on it:

Yoga begins to transform us by undoing the physical and mental obstacles and knots that block our energy, thoughts and potential. Transformation is a process - sometimes fast, sometimes slow and methodical - that restores and renews us. The transformation that yoga sparks can bring us closer to our true nature and make us feel, act and be more like our true selves: loving, compassionate, kind and connected to everything.  When we become more and more familiar with the part of us that is pure and peaceful, we begin to live more closely aligned with that more harmonious expression of ourselves. Yoga teaches us to hone and refine our thoughts, actions, speech and awareness which then releases our true essence. 

At its deepest level, yoga involves generating and moving energy and awareness.  We often misunderstand the idea of energy.  Being the type-A modern humans that we are, we often think that we have to push the body in order to get into the postures or punish ourselves mentally in order to gain greater understanding and clarity, when in reality it's the other way around. We use the postures to transform the body and to listen to its messages.   We use observation and awareness to understand the mind. We surrender and wait for an invitation from a deeper source to proceed.  I learned over the years (sometimes the hard way) that approaching postures and meditation as goals makes you less sensitive to the messages your body and mind are trying to send you. If you push too hard and fast instead of allowing your body/mind to open at its own pace, change cannot occur. But, if you focus on the process instead of the results, progress and opening come naturally.  

Yoga teaches us to tune into the energy we are made of and to use that energy to transform. Your manipura chakra (which is located at/near the solar plexus) is the source of your will, your imagination, your vision of the future, and your desire for action (the fire in your belly!). It is here that we come to terms with the past and "burn" away accumulated negative energy associated with past decisions, ideas, actions (think of digestion!).  The heat of manipura  is used creatively to transform negative qualities into positive ones.  

Last week in class, we used this transformative "fire" energy to purify our bodies, minds and spirits. Using fire building pranayama techniques such as bhastrika and kapalabhati (see video below) we stoked our inner furnaces and created the energy needed to move the heat and burn away blockages.  Mixing steady vinyasa with longer held standing poses centered around the breath, we created focus and opening, leaving us feeling refreshed and renewed.

What would you like to transform into?  Set a clear intention then tap into the inner wisdom and will power that resides deep within you to move in the direction of your deepest desire.

Until next time...

Sunday's Fire Playlist:
"Invocation"- Manju Jois
"Les Chant Des Fauves"-Tinariwen
"Keepin' It Real"-Shaggy
"Ganesh Is Fresh"-MC Yogi
"Dub In Light"-Telepath
"Jaia Ganesha-Dum Dum Project
"Punjabi Five-O-Dum Dum Project
"Mission"-EOTO
"Shanti/Ashtangi"_Madonna
"Groove Holmes"-The Beastie Boys
"Nar Djenetbouba"-Tinariwen
"Ikyadarh Dim"-Tinariwen
"Brick House"-Sara K.
"Afours Afours"-Tinariwen
"1st One Out"-Brian Carson
"Without Standing"-Lusine LCL

Release

“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive - to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.” 

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross 

Tuesday the earth shook... literally. I was sitting on the couch, taking a moment to close my eyes, rest and meditate when suddenly I felt the couch shaking.  Thinking that our big ol' tabby cat Cornelius was perched on top of the sofa scratching his chin, I cracked my eyes open only to discover that he was nowhere to be seen.  I closed my eyes again but the shaking continued.  "Must be Fort Jackson", I thought (there are always mysterious earth rattling things going on over there) and then I went back to my silent reverie.  It wasn't until later that I discovered that an earthquake had occurred in Virginia.  I was in awe that something happening hundreds of miles away could be felt so clearly right here, on my couch in SC!  Joseph Martin, a geotechnical engineering professor at Drexel University explained that Tuesday's quake was the result of an ancient fault line along the Piedmont from millions of years ago that basically "shrugged" and let loose some energy.  

What does all of this have to do with yoga? I think that one of the many reasons people gravitate to yoga and then stick with it is because they've experienced - on a very deep level - the shifts that take place when we consciously stretch and breathe energy into the deeper layers of the body, mind and spirit.  This shifting and releasing of tension, energy and emotions can sometimes feel as epic as an earthquake or as quiet as a gentle breeze. In yoga, we quite literally release blocked energy and create new patterns for that energy to flow more freely. We often experience this as a feeling of sweet relief after a yummy practice, or perhaps an eruption of long trapped tears that takes us by surprise as we sink into savasana, or even a feeling of released anger or joy that bubbles up to the surface as we drive home after our practice. There's no doubt that the practice of shifting energy transforms us, not into something better or worse, but just different and more spacious.

Our work as practitioners is to allow these shifts and releases of physical, emotional and spiritual energy, to redirect us towards new patterns of growth and freedom. The held back tears that find their way to the surface, a shift in ideas or limiting attitudes that may lead to a new opportunity, or maybe the release of an old hurt or pain that leads to more love and compassion.  Every release and shift we experience brings us closer to who and what we really are: kind, compassionate and whole. What will shake you today?  What big or small releases await you?  In what ways can you crack the facade and allow your true self to shine through? 

Until next time...

"Go further than your mind can reach, further than your words can speak.  Go further than you know, outside of your control.  Break your conditioning by letting go and letting go and letting go.  Like a twig plucked from a tree, carried a great distance, and woven into a crow's nest, you have no idea of your own destiny.


Keep going until there is nothing left, and you are empty and bereft.  Hold that open space.  Inhabit the place of not knowing until grace tugs on your awareness and says "follow me into the center of chaos and serenity.  Follow me to what you've always been and always will be.


The truth of you is far beyond what you imagine, simultaneously deathless and hear to be lived, then surrendered back into the infinite." -Danna Faulds

Courage

"Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." 

-Mary Anne Radmacher

I had the honor of teaching restorative yoga to a lovely group of cancer survivors on Sunday afternoon.  First, let me say that I am always amazed at the positive energy these women possess.  They are genuine souls, exude pure kindness, and one gets the sense that there is a deep, abiding understanding that they've reached with life. They "get it" on a profound level.  They've had unmistakable proof that life is unpredictable and precious and they don't take it for granted. These ladies inspire me beyond words and have been amazing examples and teachers of courage for me on this path.

Just before class started, a young woman tentatively entered the studio and signed up for her first Cancer Survivors class.  As we showed her to her mat and got her set up in the first restorative posture, she shyly reclined back, folded her arms across her chest, and tensed her shoulders up around her ears.  She was clearly unsure of what to expect from the experience, but I was so proud of her for having had the courage to show up and give it a try. As we moved through class, I witnessed her slowly softening, surrendering, and allowing herself to "be". To be held in the positive energy of the group, to be supported by the props, to be empowered by her courage to do something that so directly contributed to her health and physical/emotional well-being.

When class ended I asked her if she felt more at ease.  She related her story to me and her courage overwhelmed me.  Here is a young woman who has been dealt a pretty challenging hand in life. Life presented her with a choice: find courage in the face of your trials or give up.  She chooses daily to go with courage, to fight her cancer, to show up for a new and vulnerable experience like a yoga class or a cancer treatment. She humbly surrenders to something greater than herself every day, and she has the courage to trust and believe. 

As we all know by now, it takes great courage to walk this earth as living beings.  We begin to understand this with great clarity, the moment we devote ourselves to a life on the spiritual path. We step on to this path searching for peace, not realizing at first that peace is found bit-by-bit, breath-by-breath, moment-by-moment in the fire of transformation.  Each time we roll out our yoga mat or commit to sitting in meditation we are essentially agreeing to hold a mirror up to ourselves and engage in the act of really seeing what's there, and to know that it isn't always pretty.  In fact it takes great courage to look at the source of our words, actions, motivations, faults and foibles.  It often hurts.... it HAS to hurt in order to wake us up and to help us grow. The key word here is grow.   It's not enough to just look in the mirror. The greater courage is to take what we see and use it to awaken and encourage transformation.  The greater courage is to be able to see our part in our own suffering and the suffering we cause others. The beautiful ladies of the Cancer Survivors class know this. Their bravery and courage to transform in the face of such fear and uncertainty is an inspiration. Their true grit is constant encouragement.

The very heart of practice (yoga or meditation) is to reveal our true nature: Peace, compassion, kindness and love.  But in order to uncover the pureness of our being, we have to be disciplined, willing, and brave enough to wade through the often dark and murky layers that caused us to hide our radiant self in the first place.

When you step on your mat or sit on your cushion, practice facing yourself in a courageous way.  Ask yourself: "Where am I being fearful and what is the reason for my fear?", "How can I see myself more clearly and honestly?", "What's really true in this moment...not what I want to be true, but really true?", and then be brave enough to see and feel the answers.

So to repeat the quote at the top of the post..."Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." -Mary Anne Radmacher

Until next time...

"When you are in doubt,
be still and wait,
When doubt no longer exists for you,
Then go forward with courage.
So long as mists envelop you,
be still;
be still until the sunlight
pours through and dispels the mists--as it surely will.
Then act with courage.
-Ponca Chief White Eagle

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”- Theodore Roosevelt 

Untangle

untangle |ˌənˈta ng gəl|verb [ trans. ]free from a tangled or twisted state : fishermen untangle their nets.• make (something complicated or confusing) easier to understand or deal with.

Have you ever felt a "knot" in your belly when something was upsetting or just not quite right?  Or maybe a "lump" in your throat when a challenging truth caused the words to get stuck in the back of your mouth? Ever felt like your heart was tangled with emotions or the tension in your neck feels as if a mass of steel cords were being strummed? 

Well, the wise yogis of old observed that there are places in our spiritual neurology that get "knotted" up and can hinder us on our path towards peace and enlightenment.  They theorized that as spiritual beings, we all have three places in our energy body that can become knotted or tangled up called "granthis". Granthi means "knot," and it is a good word to describe the energy blockages we have all experienced in our nervous system at one time or other (the knot in the belly, the lump in the throat, the tension in the head).

The three are:

Brahma Granthi – in the pelvic region (first and second chakras)
Vishnu Granthi – in the center region, extending from navel to heart and throat (including the third and fourth chakras).

and
Siva Granthi – in the head, including the throat, third eye and crown (5th, 6th and 7th chakras).

A granthi can block energy from flowing freely through our spiritual body, kind of like a kink in a garden hose.  When the hose is kinked, the flow of water slows down or stops altogether, creating tension and preventing the water from nourishing your garden.  Granthis prevent our spiritual garden from growing (yikes!).

And so as yogis and people on the path to peace, we practice using our bodies, breath and awareness to purify and open the body, mind and spirit in order to untie these knots, so to speak.  Yogi Matthew Sweeney says that the postures that we practice begin to purify the lower granthi (body), and that ujjayi breathing begins to purify the middle granthi (nervous system or emotion) and we use the dristi (or inner and outer gaze) to purify the upper granthi (mind).  His take on it is that the inhalation brings life to the hidden areas of the body, blind spots and tensions stemming from the granthi, and the exhalation releases tension, calming the mind. Our drishti (inner/outer gaze) keeps us anchored in the moment. The idea is that as the postures provide a healthy vehicle for the spirit to reside in, the breath purifies, and the drishti anchors us.  When this happens, tensions release, the mind calms and the granthi begins to dissolve. Untangling slowly but surely.

But Matthews says that this is not enough: "We may speak of 'purifying the body/nervous system', or 'untying knots'. Such a way of speaking implies that certain things (purification of the mind/body, untying of knots) happen as a direct result of our efforts. But this is not true. The practice, strictly speaking, doesn't do anything... it just puts us in a place where we can see ourselves for what we truly are. When we see ourselves for what we truly are, the knots will untie themselves, and true lasting change becomes possible.

When was the last time you felt that knot in your belly?  What caused it?  Think of a time when you had unsaid words stuck in your throat. What did it feel like?  A tightness? A sorrow?  When was last time that your intuition felt clouded or your heart closed off?

Some believe that we come into this world with knots - small or large - as a result of our past lives.  Some believe that we create these blockages with our continued attachment and aversion.  Whatever their origin, we have the ability to practice untying them bit by bit, thread by thread with our continued practice and awareness. As Matthew Sweeney says: "True change is made possible when you are in contact with what is, when you realise what you are. It does not occur when you try to become something you are not. No amount of asana or pranayama or meditation practice will make you a better person or hasten your development. Nothing will. For there is nothing better than being what you are, right now. This is the only way the knots come undone...the practice can only bring you into yourself if it is done with awareness. Awareness is the only key ingredient, all other processes are secondary...the practice helps to maintain this contact with reality. It is important not to slide into the path of least resistance or to avoid what is difficult...."

So, you heard it here... don't be shy!  Un-tie those knots, unkink the hose by taking the time to roll out your yoga mat, move your body, breath and focus.  Your spirit will thank you :)

Until next time... 

Mountains

"Mountain pose teaches us, literally, how to stand on our own two feet.... teaching us to root ourselves into the earth.... Our bodies become a connection between heaven and earth."  ~Carol Krucoff

There was a deep, soaking rain storm last Monday night, the kind where it seems like you're standing beneath a great rushing waterfall.  Once you've lived through a hot, South Carolina summer, you grow to appreciate any amount of rain that comes in August-  the hottest and often driest month of all.

I awoke the next morning to sunshine and cooler temperatures and upon opening the windows, got a whiff of damp earth, sodden pine straw, and fresh, clean air.  I was instantly transported to the mountains of my heart, Asheville, NC, and the mountains of my soul, The Rockies in Colorado... earthy goodness and a feeling of steady, solid peace.

Mountains as symbols have a lot to teach us about life.  They are often seen as rock solid, stable, standing tall and immovable.  They have an abiding presence and stillness - all qualities that we humans seek.

In our asana practice, one of the first postures we are asked to master on a deep level is Tadasana or "mountain" pose. In our quest for more "advanced" postures, we often look upon Tadasana as too "basic" and consider it to be unimportant. However, the reality is that it forms the base of all standing postures, which makes it kind of a big deal (Iyengar is roughly quoted as saying "how can you learn to stand on your head if you can't even stand on your feet?").  Tadasana teaches us how and where to plug in to the earth.  It shows us how to find the balance between effort and ease and allows us to be firmly rooted in our physical form which we need to stand firmly, walk surefooted, and be stable in our movements.  Being grounded physically also brings a sense of metal mooring to keep us grounded when life is joyful, abundant and happy and also deeply rooted when the strong storms of life descend upon us.

Today, practice paying close attention to how you walk through the world. Are you connected, steady and have an abiding presence, or do you often feel "airy" and untethered?  How do you stand while on line at the grocery store?  Do you walk through the world looking down at your feet or do you trust your roots and walk tall?  

"The body extends upwards, with the base as firm as a rock; the mind is steady and attentive. Tadasana teaches balance, centering and evenness and direction of extensions. These principles apply to all the postures." -BKS Iyengar

In your minds eye, envision your perfect mountain, maybe one with gently sloping sides, or one with lofty, snow capped peaks. Maybe it has one peak or perhaps many. As you move through the day, try to embody the qualities of this mountain.  Endeavor to embody its deep abiding presence and solidity no matter what comes your way.

Until next time...

Settling into the posture brings repose. It follows precise placement of the limbs, correct extension and balance. There is peace and unity within. The mind fills every particle of the body, bringing harmony. This is Yoga.

B.K.S Iyengar

Nama What?

"Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity.  This evolution includes all aspects of one's being, from bodily health to self-realization.  Yoga means union - the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul.  Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day-to-day life and endows skill in the performance of one's actions."  ~B.K.S. Iyengar

When I first started practicing yoga in group classes, I was puzzled by the way classes ended with palms together, bowing the head and saying the word "namaste".   I mean, I understood the head to the heart part but, huh?  Nama-what?  At first, I wasn't sure what was going on, so I kept my head bowed but stayed silent, nervously glancing from under my bangs to see what else may be happening that I wasn't aware of. After attending classes for a while, I decided that nothing mysterious was going on, but I still didn't really know what this "namaste" business was about so I would half-heartedly repeat it after the teacher at the close of the practice.  

Curiously, in class, no one ever seemed to address the meaning of this peculiar expression, so one afternoon following a particularly transformative practice I drove home and took matters in my own hands... I Googled it! What I found was a variety of definitions, most of which seemed to say; "I bow to you", "reverence to you" or "the light in me honors the light in you".  It was all starting to make sense.

Once I had become aware of what Namaste signified, the gesture began to be less mysterious and much more meaningful and beautiful to me.  

In the years since my first exposure to "namaste", I have learned that the significance of this gesture extends far beyond even the simplest definition of "I bow to you".  Namaste is a humbling gesture. It has a deep spiritual significance that seeks to reduce our own ego in the presence of another person.  I've learned that one of the most beautiful ways we can honor someone is to look them in the eye and really see them. Not the clothes they wear or the labels they cling to. Not their profession or status. Not the car they drive or the house they live in, but to really see their essence and to know that their essence is the same as mine.  There is no separation.

The gesture of placing our palms together in front of the heart is called “anjali mudra” which means to honor or celebrate. A mudra is an energetic "seal" or circuit that guides the flow of energy and reflexes to the brain. Anjali mudra helps us to listen and to focus inwardly - both physically and mentally.  It connects us with our higher self and when we practice it, we practice honoring and celebrating not only our higher self, but the higher self that resides within all living beings (the light in me honors the light in you).  

Anjali mudra also signifies the opposition in all things which actually shows us how to find balance, like a child's swing that moves up and down but eventually comes to rest in the center. Yoga has taught me that for a yogi, the center is the heart. As we move through an asana practice, we are moving and breathing which helps our energy to become balanced.  Stretching our muscles creates the space for this to occur, as does deep, steady breathing.  We remind ourselves of this search for balance by bringing our hands together in front of our heart, and when we do this periodically throughout our practice, it becomes a reminder to remember why we have come to our mat and what yoga means to us.  

Namaste represents yoga... two seemingly opposing forces (masculine/feminine, inner/outer, light/dark, me/you) being joined together.  The word yoga means to “yolk” (to join).  It ultimately seeks to unite all opposites and dissolve any illusion of separateness that may exist.  Anytime we weave inhale into exhale, or experience the turning of night into day with no definitive break in between, we are experiencing the presence of yoga.  

The work we do on our yoga mat is merely a preparation for the real practice of yoga, which takes place the moment we roll up our mat and walk out into the world. We practice yoga each time we look into the eyes of another and see them, if only for a split second, and acknowledge on a deep level that we are the same.

Practice looking people in the eye when you encounter them or speak with them: the cashier at the grocery store, your neighbor, a co-worker.  This helps to soften the barriers we often place between us and serves as a reminder to honor and celebrate not only your higher self, but also the higher self that resides within all living beings.

Until next time... namaste!