The Light of Understanding

"Understanding means throwing away your knowledge.” Experience is your best teacher." 

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Life since the retreat has been really interesting.  In many ways I feel as if I've been re-born, if that makes sense. I've been re-learning how to walk, speak, eat, and move through the world in this new, mindful way.  In an email to my dharma teacher last week, I said that I feel as if a huge light switch has been turned on in me and I really don't want the lights to go out again. Practice, practice, practice.

Over the past week or so, when things have gotten busy, I've found myself sort of wishing that living in the world wasn't as challenging as it often seems to be.  But then I remember to come back to the simplicity of practicing mindfulness and I realize that it's not the world that is making things difficult, it's me.  

It's amazing how deeply ingrained our habits become, how easy it is to distract ourselves when something challenging arises, or to blame the world (or other people) for our suffering or difficulties when all along we have the ability to cultivate deeper understanding in ourselves and live our lives with more freedom and peace.  I've read this quote attributed to the Buddha a million times but after actually experiencing this on a deep level at the retreat, I realize just how true it is: "Peace comes from within, do not seek it without".  We have the capacity at all times to drop all of our perceptions and illusions and really just experience the peace available to us.  But the trick is, we have to get out of our own way first.

Thay says: “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with the world or our friends or family, we blame the world or the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.” 

In this practice we're often encouraged to come back to "beginner's mind".  We cultivate love and understanding by throwing away our knowledge of how things should be, and actually experiencing things as they are. And so I watch the habits of distraction arise.  I watch the urge to blame, project, persuade, and how they try to assert themselves into my newly illuminated world.  I come back to how much more liberating it feels to actually experience the moment in all of its beauty, challenge and complexity, knowing that the only way out of my suffering is to compassionately wade through it.  So I simply practice learning how to walk again - solidly, like a free person, without these ghosts chasing after me.  I simply practice learning how to sit with ease of mind and spirit.  I re-learn over and over again how to breathe, smile, and eat with mindfulness.  In this way, the lights will stay on and never get switched back off again.

Until next time...let the sunshine in :)

 

  

No Longer In A Hurry (Monastery Visit-Part Three)

Happiness is here and now

I have dropped my worries

Nowhere to go, nothing to do

No longer in a hurry

Happiness is here and now

I have dropped my worries

Somewhere to go, something to do

But I don't need to hurry

(Plum Village song)

(The mindfulness bell at Magnolia Grove Meditation Center)

After arriving at Magnolia Grove Monastery last week, we were greeted by the many smiling, peaceful faces of the monastics who live, work and were visiting there.  We were a few hours early and were invited to set up our campsite and settle in.  Being early we were surprised to note that at no time could one discern that 900 people were about to descend.  There was an air of mindful work and peace surrounding the monks and nuns.  No scrambling, no shouting, no panicked last minute preparations, just calm abiding.

Once we registered, went through orientation and prepared for our first meal, we heard the peal of a warm-toned bell.  As the bell rang, we noticed that everyone mindfully stopped what they were doing and enjoyed three deep breaths in and out together before returning to their tasks.  It wasn't long before we realized that this bell rang periodically (about every 15 minutes or so).

As I looked around the first several times the bell rang and I stopped to breathe, I was profoundly moved by the vision of so many people moving in different directions, doing different tasks, stopping and mindfully existing in the present moment.  It was powerful.

I don't consider myself someone who zips around or is bursting with hyper energy, but after a day at the monastery, surrounded by the energy of mindful activity, I could distinctly feel the deeply rooted presence of rushing in me.  The realization that, in the course of our daily lives we become numb to the momentum and pace of the world around us, hit me like a ton of bricks.  Without being aware that it's happening, we start to vibrate with the forward surging energy that surrounds us.   To have had the opportunity to step away from that energy and observe the tendency to hurry and rush was indeed a gift with profound benefits.

Thay says: "We often become so busy that we forget what we are doing or even who we are.  I know people who say they even forget to breathe!  We forget to look at the people we love and to appreciate them until it is too late.  Even when we have some leisure time, we don't know how to get in touch with what is going on inside of ourselves.  So we turn on the television or pick up the telephone as if we might be able to escape from ourselves.

To meditate is to be aware of what is going on - in our bodies, our feelings, our mind, and in the world.  When we settle into the present moment, we can see beauties and wonders right before our eyes - a new born baby, the sun rising in the sky.  We can be very happy just by being aware of what is in front of us."

By repeatedly returning back to the present moment and slowing down, you continuously come back to the wonders of life that are only available in the here and now, and your relationship with life takes on a whole new, deeper meaning.  You soon discover that eternity is available in the present moment. 

Spending a week vibrating at this slower, more mindful energy was truly a gift that planted deep-seated seeds.  What I realize now is that we don't need to go off to spend time at a zen monastery, go away on vacation, or close ourselves off from the world to experience this stillness of being.  It's available right here.  Right now.  So simple.  All it takes is for us to be willing to see that we're the ones creating the hustle and bustle, often in an attempt to outrun ourselves.  If we wish to slow down, we can indeed... slow down.  

Next time you're in a hurry, take a moment to close your eyes and take three full, long, slow breaths in and out.  Slowly open your eyes and feel the difference those three breaths made.

Until next time...

"Driving the Car Meditation"

(From: Present Moment, Wonderful Moment)

Before starting the car,

I know where I am going.

The car and I are one.

If the car goes fast, I go fast.

If we are mindful when we start our car, we will know how to use it properly.  When we are driving we tend to think of arriving, and we sacrifice the journey for the sake of the arrival.  But life is to be found in the present moment, not in the future.  In fact, we may suffer more after we arrive at our destination.  If we have to talk of a destination, what about our final destination, the graveyard?  We do not want to go in the direction of death;  we want to go in the direction of life.  Life can be found only in the present moment.  Therefore, each mile we drive, each step we take, has to bring us into the present moment.

When we see a red light or a stop sign, we can smile at it and thank it, because it is a bodhisattva (teacher) helping us return to the present moment.  The red light is a bell of mindfulness.  We may have thought if it as an enemy, preventing us from achieving our goal.  But now we know the red light is our friend, helping us resist rushing and calling us to return to the present moment where we can meet with life, joy and peace.

We Have Not Come To Take Prisoners

"For we have not come to take prisoners or to confine our wondrous spirits, but to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom, and light!"

 (Hafiz-The Great Sufi Master)

I am often baffled by our ability as modern humans to live our lives as if there were a great war being waged against us.  So many of us often seem defensive and out to protect what's ours (our beliefs, ideas, possessions, our politics).  Perhaps most perplexing of all, we often treat ourselves or our bodies as if they were the enemy-something to be punished.  We punish ourselves for the weekend's overindulgence, for not being tall enough, thin enough, for our past mistakes or current insecurities, or _______(fill in the blank).   We may become obsessive over our style/method of yoga, have "killer" workouts or "punishing classes" all in an attempt to desperately sweat away our problems or our demons.  We may walk away from such grueling pursuits or obsessions with a sense of "high and mightiness"; stunning arm balances, kick ass abs, or buns of steel.  But are we happy?  Are we at peace?

 I have spent more years than I care to recall at war with myself via my body.  In reality I was punishing my body for the lack of clarity in my mind.  In hindsight, I believed that  if I could trick my mind into focusing on something completely innocent, it would forget what the REAL issue was and perhaps that issue would magically go away if I ignored it long enough.  The result was usually an unhealthy and unsustainable way of life and a mind that was weary from trying to outrun itself.

Enter: the practice of yoga!  As our yoga and meditation practice matures and deepens it leads us away from the combative and competitive notions that mislead us.  It opens us to approach not only our practice, ourselves, and the world, but life in general from a place of peace, compassion, and acceptance.  Breath by breath we begin to sort through the muck and mire of the psyche and the reasons for our inner combat become clearer and clearer.  We begin to see WHY we're punishing ourselves with "killer" classes that leave us wobbly, running or walking obsessively, eating too many Cheetos, drinking too much wine, smoking too many cigarettes, _____(fill in the blank).  Once the "why" becomes clear, the unraveling can begin and a truce can be called.  The inner skirmish is resolved and peace presides (at least until the next battle cry is heard).

It is not our purpose to punish, beat-up or belittle ourselves or others, but rather to experience our time with courage, light and freedom.

Try this:
The next time you come to your mat, take a few moments before you begin to investigate what you've brought with you to your practice.  Take a seat or lie on your back, settle into the rhythm of your breath and the sensations in your body.  Sit with what is present without labeling it as "good" or "bad".  Get quietly centered on the breath.  Listen.  Then set an intention to practice-to move and breathe with mindful awareness of what your body, your heart, and your soul needs.  Practice from a place of clarity, stability, and mindfulness, rather than with the intent to fuel the ego or slavishly burn calories to punish yourself over the fact that you ate an extra donut in the break room this morning.

We Have Not Come To Take Prisoners

by Hafiz

We have not come here to take prisoners,

But to surrender ever more deeply

To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world

To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,

From anything

That may not strengthen your wings.

Run like hell my dear,

From anyone likely

To put a sharp knife

Into the sacred, tender vision

Of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend

Those aspects of obedience

That stand outside of our house

And shout to our reason

"O please, O please,

Come out and play."

For we have not come here to take prisoners

Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and ever more deeply

Our divine courage, freedom, and 

Light!