The Light of Understanding

"Understanding means throwing away your knowledge.” Experience is your best teacher." 

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Life since the retreat has been really interesting.  In many ways I feel as if I've been re-born, if that makes sense. I've been re-learning how to walk, speak, eat, and move through the world in this new, mindful way.  In an email to my dharma teacher last week, I said that I feel as if a huge light switch has been turned on in me and I really don't want the lights to go out again. Practice, practice, practice.

Over the past week or so, when things have gotten busy, I've found myself sort of wishing that living in the world wasn't as challenging as it often seems to be.  But then I remember to come back to the simplicity of practicing mindfulness and I realize that it's not the world that is making things difficult, it's me.  

It's amazing how deeply ingrained our habits become, how easy it is to distract ourselves when something challenging arises, or to blame the world (or other people) for our suffering or difficulties when all along we have the ability to cultivate deeper understanding in ourselves and live our lives with more freedom and peace.  I've read this quote attributed to the Buddha a million times but after actually experiencing this on a deep level at the retreat, I realize just how true it is: "Peace comes from within, do not seek it without".  We have the capacity at all times to drop all of our perceptions and illusions and really just experience the peace available to us.  But the trick is, we have to get out of our own way first.

Thay says: “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with the world or our friends or family, we blame the world or the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.” 

In this practice we're often encouraged to come back to "beginner's mind".  We cultivate love and understanding by throwing away our knowledge of how things should be, and actually experiencing things as they are. And so I watch the habits of distraction arise.  I watch the urge to blame, project, persuade, and how they try to assert themselves into my newly illuminated world.  I come back to how much more liberating it feels to actually experience the moment in all of its beauty, challenge and complexity, knowing that the only way out of my suffering is to compassionately wade through it.  So I simply practice learning how to walk again - solidly, like a free person, without these ghosts chasing after me.  I simply practice learning how to sit with ease of mind and spirit.  I re-learn over and over again how to breathe, smile, and eat with mindfulness.  In this way, the lights will stay on and never get switched back off again.

Until next time...let the sunshine in :)

 

  

Freedom

"Inhale, and God approaches you.  Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you.  Exhale, and you approach God.  Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God." 

-Krishnamacharya

In Monday's class we explored the concept of four part breathing.  In yoga, breathing is the most central and vital practice.  The breath opens a doorway into the deeper aspects of the practice such as freedom, intuition, lovingkindness, mindfulness, meditation, movement of energy, and a deep sense of connection to all things (to name a few).


In order to cultivate an awareness and reverence for the breath, we need to start by taking a look at its structure.  The complete yogic breath has four parts: the inhalation (called puraka in sanskrit), the retention (kumbhaka), the exhalation (rechaka), and the absence of breath within the body (shunyata).  The idea is that by simply becoming aware of their existence and differences as we breathe, we strengthen and slow down our breath.  As a result we begin to find clarity, focus and freedom.


Once we become aware of our breathing and recognize that it is the way in which we can control the energy of our body and mind, we can begin to use it most effectively. Without established breathing, hatha yoga is simply a physical exercise. When we start to move with the breath (vinyasa), we experience a change in our state of mind. We become relaxed, focused, and peaceful. We also begin to enjoy and feel at home in our bodies.  With mindfulness and concentration, we can send the energy of the breath throughout the body, releasing tensions, build strength, and bringing stillness to areas where we are ill at ease. When practicing yoga, we often discover parts of our body that are tight, sore, congested, closed off, numb, or painful of which we were not even aware. This is the process of developing mindfulness.


"Yoga is all about freedom. Only a fraction of the world’s population is formally imprisoned, but the entire human race is imprisoned in the body and the earth itself. None are free from the inevitability of sickness, age, and death, however free of them they may be at the moment. The human condition is subject to innumerable limitations. Who really controls his life fully, attains all his goals, and knows no setbacks of any kind? No one.

Our real self, the spirit, is always perfect and free. But we have forgotten that. So we identify with our present experience of bondage and consequently suffer in countless ways. Our situation is like someone who is asleep and dreaming that he is being tortured and beaten. In reality he is not being touched at all; yet he is experiencing very real pain and fear. He need not placate, overpower, or escape his torturers. He needs only to wake up. Yoga is the practice of self-awakening." (Swami Nirmalananda Giri )


Ultimately, yoga is the practice of freedom. It's about clearing away whatever is in us that prevents us from living in the most full and whole way. Yoga is connecting all of the powers of the body, mind and soul to something greater and more profound.  It is the path of balance and equanimity. 
The poses and the breath are just a way in.  Once we understand how to "be" in a pose or how to breathe, it's then up to us to be brave enough to take what we observe and use it to evolve, to grow, to remove the obstacles placed in our path, and to free ourselves from suffering.

It all starts with the breath.

Until next time...

Try this:

Four-Part Breath
The point of this pranayama exercise is simply to bring your mind more clearly to your breath, so your breath can inspire your movements, rather than the other way around. It is also a lovely way to bring yourself back to the stillness we seek in yoga. I recommend establishing the four-part breath at the beginning of your practice, as you sit still. Then incorporate it as you begin to move. See if you can hold onto it through your entire practice, until you consciously let it go in Savasana.
1) Take a few rounds of breath, just observing the natural rhythm and feel of your breath. Be sure to breathe through your nose and take particular note of the feel of the air entering and exiting your nostrils, establishing your connection to something bigger.
2) Begin to observe the space between your breaths — that brief moment of stillness between the exhale and the inhale, and between the inhale and the exhale. Don’t alter it, just observe how you are perfectly still before reversing directions, like when you're on a swing!

3) When you are ready, take a long, slow inhale, counting to four to fill your lungs.
4) Pause at the top of the inhale, and count to four. Don’t struggle to hold your breath. Just be with the stillness.
5) Exhale slowly and with control for four counts.
6) Count to four at the bottom of your breath. Again, take care not to struggle. Just observe the stillness.
7) After a couple of rounds, you may wish to lengthen to counts of five for a round or two and then maybe even six. Take your time, complete each round, and if you start to struggle, back off. You are looking for peace and ease in this pranayama exercise.
8) When you are ready, stop counting and instead just feel the evenness of your four-part breath, giving equal space to the stillness between the exhales and the inhales as you give to the exhales and inhales themselves.
9) Carry this sense of balance and equanimity and peace into the rest of your practice and the rest of your day.
(From: http://www.yogamamame.com/pranayama/)


ONLY BREATH 
by Rumi
Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu,
Buddhist, sufi, or zen. Not any religion 
or cultural system. I am not from the East
or the West, not out of the ocean or up
from the ground, not natural or ethereal, 
not composed of elements at all. I do not exist,
am not an entity in this world or the next,
did not descend from Adam or Eve or any 
origin story. My place is placeless, a trace
of the traceless. Neither body or soul.
I belong to the beloved, have seen the two
worlds as one and that one call to and know,
first, last, outer, inner, only that
breath breathing human being.

Breath Is Enough 

by Robert Service

I draw sweet air

Deeply and long,

As pure as prayer,

As sweet as song.

Where lilies glow

And roses wreath,

Heart-joy I know

Is just to breathe.

Aye, so I think

By shore or sea,

As deep I drink

Of purity.

This brave machine,

Bare to the buff,

I keep ice-clean,

Breath is enough.

From mountain stream

To covert cool

The world, I deem,

Is wonderful;

The great, the small,

The smooth, the rough,

I love it all,--

Breath is enough.

We Have Not Come To Take Prisoners

"For we have not come to take prisoners or to confine our wondrous spirits, but to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom, and light!"

 (Hafiz-The Great Sufi Master)

I am often baffled by our ability as modern humans to live our lives as if there were a great war being waged against us.  So many of us often seem defensive and out to protect what's ours (our beliefs, ideas, possessions, our politics).  Perhaps most perplexing of all, we often treat ourselves or our bodies as if they were the enemy-something to be punished.  We punish ourselves for the weekend's overindulgence, for not being tall enough, thin enough, for our past mistakes or current insecurities, or _______(fill in the blank).   We may become obsessive over our style/method of yoga, have "killer" workouts or "punishing classes" all in an attempt to desperately sweat away our problems or our demons.  We may walk away from such grueling pursuits or obsessions with a sense of "high and mightiness"; stunning arm balances, kick ass abs, or buns of steel.  But are we happy?  Are we at peace?

 I have spent more years than I care to recall at war with myself via my body.  In reality I was punishing my body for the lack of clarity in my mind.  In hindsight, I believed that  if I could trick my mind into focusing on something completely innocent, it would forget what the REAL issue was and perhaps that issue would magically go away if I ignored it long enough.  The result was usually an unhealthy and unsustainable way of life and a mind that was weary from trying to outrun itself.

Enter: the practice of yoga!  As our yoga and meditation practice matures and deepens it leads us away from the combative and competitive notions that mislead us.  It opens us to approach not only our practice, ourselves, and the world, but life in general from a place of peace, compassion, and acceptance.  Breath by breath we begin to sort through the muck and mire of the psyche and the reasons for our inner combat become clearer and clearer.  We begin to see WHY we're punishing ourselves with "killer" classes that leave us wobbly, running or walking obsessively, eating too many Cheetos, drinking too much wine, smoking too many cigarettes, _____(fill in the blank).  Once the "why" becomes clear, the unraveling can begin and a truce can be called.  The inner skirmish is resolved and peace presides (at least until the next battle cry is heard).

It is not our purpose to punish, beat-up or belittle ourselves or others, but rather to experience our time with courage, light and freedom.

Try this:
The next time you come to your mat, take a few moments before you begin to investigate what you've brought with you to your practice.  Take a seat or lie on your back, settle into the rhythm of your breath and the sensations in your body.  Sit with what is present without labeling it as "good" or "bad".  Get quietly centered on the breath.  Listen.  Then set an intention to practice-to move and breathe with mindful awareness of what your body, your heart, and your soul needs.  Practice from a place of clarity, stability, and mindfulness, rather than with the intent to fuel the ego or slavishly burn calories to punish yourself over the fact that you ate an extra donut in the break room this morning.

We Have Not Come To Take Prisoners

by Hafiz

We have not come here to take prisoners,

But to surrender ever more deeply

To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world

To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,

From anything

That may not strengthen your wings.

Run like hell my dear,

From anyone likely

To put a sharp knife

Into the sacred, tender vision

Of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend

Those aspects of obedience

That stand outside of our house

And shout to our reason

"O please, O please,

Come out and play."

For we have not come here to take prisoners

Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and ever more deeply

Our divine courage, freedom, and 

Light!

Be and Do

To what shall I compare this life of ours?

Even before I can say

It is like a lightning flash or a dewdrop

It is no more. (Sengai)

I’ve spent much of my 41 years caught in the web of conditioning that most of us find ourselves stuck in at one time or another. It starts when we’re very young and find ourselves wishing to be older. I can remember watching my older sister, Robyn reap the rewards of being a teenager: the freedom of being able to stay up later, being able to go out with friends on a Friday or Saturday night, wearing make-up, getting her first car, and I would think, “Wow, my life will start when I’m 16”. Then, when I was 16 thinking, “When I graduate from high school, that’s when life begins!”. Upon graduating high school, the thought was that once I finished college, THAT’S when life would start. And so it goes, thinking that the next big event (marriage, having kids, getting that promotion, buying that big house) will mark the day when our lives will start and we’ll be perfectly happy and content. Isn’t that what we’re led to believe by the media, by those slick commercials on TV?

I lived this way until the day my mother passed away after a short battle with cancer in 2003. Something shifted deep within me when I saw and felt her exhale for the last time. Something beyond explanation. I realized that life was happening...right now, right here. Indeed it has always been happening, and I had been wrapped so blindly in the belief that life was waiting for me just beyond the next bend in the road.

When I started to practice yoga and meditation, I started to see, breath by breath and pose by pose, those old beliefs slowly begin to unravel. The knots and entanglements of those old conditionings began to undo themselves and I began to see life as a gift to be present for in this and every moment, that only being (here) and doing (this) are real. Be and do, here and now.

The realization comes when, while meditating or practicing yoga, you can let go of the idea that you are in control. What happens from moment to moment is something to experience, not to push away or grasp onto with all your might. When you just follow the breath, just know that you are breathing you become rooted in your life as it’s happening. All the bulls*#t drops away. All the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world drop away and we’re left with life as it is honestly happening. Powerful stuff.

Of course, this is easy to say and hard to do. It takes practice and patience and lovingkindness towards yourself and others and the world. It involves accepting all that is as neither “good” nor “bad”. Be and do. Here and now.

I can’t say it enough: the discipline one gains through a yoga practice or through a daily meditation practice is priceless. You learn that by stripping away the non-essential, you find the essential. You find the truth and an unshakable sense of peace. Life is happening and you are a part of it. This isn’t to say that what’s happening here and now is always going to be pleasant or comfortable. It may be downright painful or full of sorrow. The point is that what’s happening now is life. It’s truth. To be present for that truth is a great and powerful gift. “Peace doesn’t mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” (Unknown) Be and do. Here and now.

(By the way, you DO have time to squeeze yoga and meditation into your daily life. Yoga and meditation, by stripping away all of the “filler” in our lives, creates time, it doesn’t “take” time.)

Here’s a quick way to find your center:

Find a quiet place out of the way of foot traffic in your home or office. Lock the dog/cat out of the room. Take a moment when the toddler is napping (instead of surfing the net or watching the boob-tube!). Sit on the edge of a cushion or pillow so that your pelvis is tilting forward and your spine is straight (it helps if your knees are below your hips).

Begin by watching your breath. Don’t try to do anything to it at first. Just watch. Feel the length of the breath enter your body as you inhale, and the length of the breath leave your body as you exhale. As you inhale say to yourself: “be here” as you exhale say to yourself: doing this. Do this 10-20 times.

Then slowly deepen your breath, inhale silently count “1” to your self, then slowly, completely exhale.

Inhale deeply count “2” then slowly, completely exhale.

Repeat this until you get to “10”

When you get to 10, do the same thing but count backwards to 1.

Slowly open your eyes. Feel better? Be and do. Right here, right now.

Peace.